A Goofy Short Story

Here is the beginning off a hopefully lighter short story that we have been working on. Part two will be up later this week.

We haven’t really come up with a title yet for this, maybe you guys should help us out!


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“Cory, you’re dragging.” Dave pointed at the sagging duffle bag around his partner’s wrist. The duffle bag slaps against the wet cement of the ally way. The rain always gave good cover for the two clever thief’s as they slipped past the authorities.

“Where was our eye-patched taxi driver?” Cory asked, hoisting the bag onto his shoulder picking up his pace.

“I don’t know. Probably had another call or something. I told you Uber was not a great get-a-way idea.” Dave suggested, pausing at the fork in the alley before turning left.

“I wonder if he’s thinking of us. All wet, waiting for a ride that will never come.” Cory laughed, throwing his bag through the fence as Dave held up the loosened metal. Sometimes in an escape you have to take a few short cuts, luckily no one ever seemed to keep up their properties here.

“Why? Are you thinking of him?”

“Obviously,” Cory rolled his eyes even though Dave couldn’t see him. “I’m wondering where the heck he is.”

“Man, you have his phone number. Just call up and ask him on a date.”

“What?! No!” Cory exclaimed, offended at the idea of going out with a one eyed man who drives a taxi. “It’s just the captain let us down. It sucks we don’t have a backup plan.” He added, pulling up the broken fence for Dave to crawl through.

Dave stopped and looked Cory right in the eyes, “Well, someone thought it would be a good idea to throw our backup plan off a bridge.”

“It was on fire!” Cory shouted, brushing his long blonde hair out of his wet face.

“So you throw it off a bridge? Why?” Dave asked, picking Cory’s bag up.

“Did you want to keep it? I’m not the incredible hulk, no point in dragging dead weight around. Oh, by the way…” Cory paused pointing at the stranded bag on the other side of the fence. “I would very much like to keep that.”

With a sigh Dave crawled back under the fence, after losing his third battle of rock, paper, scissors. The moved quickly through the rain; making it to their apartments without being followed.

They may have seemed foolish had anyone been watching them, but that didn’t mean they were. They continued to steal, pawning items to fuel their lives until they met two beautiful best friends with whom they settled down never looking back to their past.



“Cory? Honey, what are you still doing here?” Paige asked, spotting her husband sitting on the tan couch.

“I decided to take a vacation day so I could stay home with you and little poopy butt here.” He explained, shoveling another spoonful of peas into his two year olds open mouth.


“Yes, that is your daddy.” Paige responded in a sweet voice, smile shining brightly as she listened to the adorable squeals of her rosy cheeked toddler. “Do you have any plans today?” She wondered out loud, hoping that she’d get to spend more time with her favorite person (next to her son, of course) in the whole world.

“Whatever you need, but I hope what you need is some quality time with me. Maybe teach Brodie here something cute.” He suggested, playing with Brodie’s chubby chin as he squirmed with laughter.

“I’m not sure teaching him to roll around in dirt is cute, I’ll never understand you men.” She smiled, rubbing her protruding stomach. She was eight months pregnant and couldn’t wait to bring their little girl into the world. Finally she wouldn’t be outnumbered by boys.

“He does loads more than just roll in mud!” Cory replied offensively, how could she not see the greatness in her own son. “Let me show you how smart he really is.”

He looked at his smiling baby boy and sang, “Old McDonald had a farm, what sound did his cow make?”

“Moooo.” Brodie cried.

“How about his chickens?”


“And what did old man McDonald have to say?”


Paige was laughing so hard she had to wipe the tears from her eyes. She didn’t know how long they had been working on it, but it was the cutest thing she had ever seen. “That’s amazing, when did you start doing that?”

“A couple of weeks now, he’s gotten really good at it.” Cory leaned back against the couch, satisfied that boys really did rule as he watched his beautiful wife smother their son with love.

“I hate to do this but I’ve got to run to the store for that medicine the doctor prescribed and something for dinner. I guess now I have to make your favorite. Can I leave Brodie here with you?” She dropped the diaper bag she no longer needed on the floor next to Cory before leaning in for a quick kiss. She peeped around the corner and Cory was not fooled.

“You want to see another one?” He looked over his shoulder to see her jumping from foot to foot excitedly. “Hey bubby, how does a dinosaur eat?”

Brodie scrunched his arms up against his sides and smashed face first into his bowl of food. The peas flew everywhere and Paige burst into laughter.

“You have to clean him up, you know.” She pointed out as she left the room laughing.

“Dinosaurs clean themselves, duh!” He called out after her.


Meanwhile just a couple streets away Dave was working hard at a crime scene, he was going to have to call Cory in. The scene was pretty horrific and mumbled a curse under his breathe. Of course on a day like today Cory would call off without warning. He was always doing that and it drove Dave crazy. He gazed upon the house and was flooded with memories. It was the first house he had even owned; even though he had lived there with his ex-wife it still held the sweet memories of his children’s first steps. Now those memories would be forever shadowed by the torturous event that happened late last night. He turned off his red and blue flashing lights, leaving them on would draw unnecessary attention and he wanted to stave off the press as long as possible.

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Are our two thief’s cops now? How on earth did that happen? And what is this gruesome scene that Dave is now investigating? Find more in part two coming later this week!

Featured image courtesy of google images.

3 thoughts on “A Goofy Short Story

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